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The Sun News: Worker helped many deal...
May 17, 2007The Sun News
By Peggy Mishoe
Worker helped many deal with grief issues
For 17 years, Marva Lackey of Myrtle Beach has worked to help people understand end-of-life issues, the alternatives they have and the decisions that need to be made.
She recently retired as community educator with Mercy Hospice and Palliative Care, an agency that strives in numerous ways to help people who are facing death and their loved ones, including making it possible many times for patients to die dignified deaths in their homes.
During a retirement luncheon, Lackey talked about Mercy Hospice, the need to educate the public and the importance of the grief counseling the agency offers.
“End-of-life care has become so complex that people need to be informed as much as possible about what constitutes the very best in end-of-life care, and Mercy Hospice is committed to informing the public about the choices that they have,” she said.
Lackey learned from her own experiences how helpful Mercy Hospice can be, as she watched her late husband, Dr. Ron Lackey, suffer the ravages of diabetes for years before his death in 1999. “The grief work that they do helped me so much,” she said. “It’s that kind of support that you get that helps you through those difficult times. There are a lot of losses. Any time anyone is ill for a long time, people go through a lot before death. That’s what we call anticipatory grief.”
Lackey’s three sons, Dr. Scott Lackey and Dean Lackey of Wilmington, N.C., and Mark Lackey of New York, attended the luncheon. “It was funny that this was going to be part time and turned into a major career,” said Mark Lackey.
“She was a piano teacher when we were growing up,” Scott Lackey said.
In the 1980s, Lackey was director of music at Surfside Baptist Church. Her longtime friend, Roselle Williamson, played the organ. Williamson’s husband died of cancer, and she married the Rev. Needham Williamson, who had lost his wife to cancer. He found the experience more profound and painful than he imagined.
Over the years, Lackey’s enthusiasm over the work of Mercy Hospice spread to others and influenced the Williamsons to get involved as volunteers. Needham Williamson was one of them.
He had years of experience in counseling while pastoring churches, including First United Methodist Church in Myrtle Beach and Lancaster. “I had done a lot of [grief counseling] across the years,” he said, “but until it hits you firsthand, you really don’t know what it’s all about. You think you do.”
At the luncheon, Lackey’s co-workers wrote letters to her in a book that she kept. They said she will be missed by the staff and volunteers. “She will be deeply missed, but I will always look toward her for guidance,” said Carole Bowdre, director of development. “I feel like I’ve known her all my life. She has truly been an asset to Mercy Hospice and this community.”
“Marva is always so quiet and so faithful,” said Elizabeth Mazurkiewicz, medical social worker. “She is so rock solid, and you can’t doubt anything she says. She serves quietly and never brings any attention to herself.”
Now that she has retired for the second time, Lackey said she is going to try to relax some.
Contact freelance writer Peggy Mishoe at pegmish@sccoast.net or call 365-3885.
See more pictures of Marva’s party in our Photo Gallery.